by Amy L. Lansky, PhD

The following is an excerpt from: Active Consciousness: Awakening the Power Within [1] **R.L.Ranch Press, September 2011,**

One piece of evidence for the holographic nature of nonstandard fields that have been proposed in recent years — the *zero-point field* (a candidate for the unified field [2]), the *psi field* of psychic phenomena, Ervin Laszlo’s *Akashic field* [3], and the *morphic field* proposed by Rupert Sheldrake [4] — is that they all share a common feature: sensitivity to *similarity in vibration*. If a holographic image has many different holograms embedded within it, shining a laser of a specific frequency upon it will cause only those holograms made with lasers of the same frequency to stand out. That’s because things with the same vibration naturally resonate and reinforce one another — just as two violin strings at the same pitch resonate with one another. This property of resonance has also been used to explain how each of us might interact with mysterious fields like the psi or Akashic fields … People pick up only that with which they personally “resonate.” Each individual’s resonant frequency, determined by their life experience, physical body, and energy body, limits what they can perceive. Biologist Rupert Sheldrake’s theory of morphic resonance also depends upon similarity in vibration. Members of the same species, being “on the same wavelength,” are able to tap into information that pertains uniquely to them. And while members of an entire species might be able to tune into a fairly broad spectrum of frequencies (think of Carl Jung’s notion of the *collective unconscious* that humans supposedly tap into [5]), smaller, more tightly connected groups — such as members of the same family or loving couples — resonate in more focused zones of vibration; they have access to their own “private frequency.” In fact, Sheldrake goes even further and suggests that morphic fields can explain how human memory operates. Instead of being stored in our brains, he suggests that memories are stored in the morphic field. Our brains then pick them up via resonance, like radios tuning to their own private stations. The existence and importance of similarity in vibration has also popped up in psi experiments. For example, individuals gifted at psychokinesis — the ability to affect physical objects with the mind — have described the experience as a feeling of resonance with those objects. A fascinating body of evidence has also been uncovered by Dean Radin and his colleague Roger Nelson at Princeton’s PEAR lab. Researchers at PEAR found that connected couples can influence random event generators (REGs) more effectively than individuals working alone. Because of this phenomenon, Radin and Nelson decided to test for even larger field effects by using these random devices as “antennae.” First they placed REGs at events where people were all focused on the same thing and therefore “vibrating” similarly — for example, at music festivals, religious events, and even at the Academy Awards. The results were as predicted; these venues did indeed cause the machines’ outputs to deviate from the norm [6, 7]. Then, in 1997, they decided to place REGs at fifty locations all over the world, run them continuously, and see if they could pick up on major world events. The results were astounding. Over the next ten years, Radin and Nelson studied the machines’ reactions to 205 major world events and discovered that they did indeed respond to events that were intense on a global level — especially those that were tragic. The most striking effects occurred in response to the events on 9/11, which caused the largest daily average correlation between the machines’ outputs. Even more amazing, this correlation became noticeable a few hours *before* the first of the twin towers was hit! [8, 9] An instance of collective precognition?
Whereas world events less horrific than 9/11 probably evoke more varied vibratory responses in people (and therefore do not resonate and amplify each other as well), truly frightening events tend to evoke a more common, coherent response. As this study showed, when nearly all of the people on Earth “got onto the same wavelength” on 9/11, even machines noticed. **Synchronicity and Fields of Meaning**Similarity in vibration has also been used to explain the phenomenon of synchronicity — “coincidences” of seemingly unrelated events that share a common meaning. A well-known illustration of this phenomenon was described by psychiatrist Carl Jung, the originator of the notion of synchronicity [10]. One of Jung’s patients was recounting her dream about a golden scarab beetle when he heard a rapping on the window. When he opened it, a rose chafer beetle — the insect most similar to a scarab in Jung’s region — flew into the room. Jung quickly put two and two together. He realized that the mythological meaning of the scarab — an ancient Egyptian symbol for rebirth — was highly pertinent to his patient’s problems. And this was also the reason why the insect had appeared in waking life. The phenomenon of synchronicity demonstrates a key point — the universe may not be operating like a cold, meaningless machine after all. Instead, the reality we experience each day may be flooded with *fields of meaning*. One field might embody the horror and violence of 9/11. Another field might be associated with a hope for rebirth. Each field of meaning has a particular vibration to it, and objects, individuals, emotions, dreams, and events with similar vibrations will tend to resonate with one another and then co-occur. This is what creates synchronicities. In fact, various theories of quantum physics *require* the existence of synchronicities [11].
Think about it. There may be another fundamental mechanism at play in our universe besides cause and effect. Most of us think that everything that occurs in our world is due to some causal mechanism. A causes B causes C. However, *synchronicity* — the co-occurrence of events within the same field of meaning — *may be another fundamental reason why things tend to happen*. Many things in life that we think are due to cause-and-effect or mere coincidence may actually be due to synchronicity.
Here’s an example that occurred while I was writing this book. My husband Steve and I had long admired Rupert Sheldrake’s work on morphic fields but had never met him. To us, he was a brilliant scientist living far away in England. However, in September 2008, just as I was working on the section of this book that describes his work, Steve got word that Sheldrake would be giving a talk at his research laboratory at Sun Microsystems. Now please understand; talks about things like the morphic field are not commonplace in computer research labs. In fact, Sheldrake’s talk was poorly attended. But it just so happened that one of the lab’s researchers had met Sheldrake in Scotland and had invited him to speak the next time he was in our area. When Steve heard about Sheldrake’s visit, he asked if I could also attend, and we both received an invitation to have lunch with him the next day. Before I could even finish writing about Rupert Sheldrake, I was sitting and having lunch with him! Coincidence? Or synchronicity?
**A Meaningful Cure** The powerful influence of similarity in vibration has also made its way into healing. In fact, it is the very foundation of *homeopathy* — an alternative medical system originally developed in Germany in the early 1800s. The word “homeopathy” literally means *similar* (homeo) *suffering* (pathy), and practitioners of homeopathy choose medicines for their patients based on a principle of cure called the *Law of Similars*. This principle can be described as follows: > *If a substance is shown experimentally to cause a specific pattern of emotional, physical, and behavioral symptoms in healthy test subjects, then that substance can be prepared so that it can cure individuals suffering from the same pattern of symptoms.* In other words, homeopathy is the science of healing based on similarity of vibration. The Law of Similars essentially says: “likes cure likes.” Bring two things of like vibration together — a remedy and a patient — and the effect will be a cure of the patient’s disease. Here’s a simple illustration. We all know the common effects of drinking coffee: wakefulness, a mind full of thoughts, excited happiness, acute senses, and sometimes heart palpitations and diarrhea. These symptoms are manifestations of the vibration of coffee, and coffee imparts these qualities to those who drink it. Now, if a patient comes to a homeopath seeking help for chronic insomnia, and their insomnia is characterized by an overactive mind, excitement, acuteness of the senses, heart palpitations, and diarrhea, it is likely that the homeopath will prescribe *Coffea Cruda* — a remedy prepared from coffee. That’s because this patient manifests the same vibrational qualities as coffee. And if the remedy is truly homeopathic to the patient — that is, if coffee’s symptoms match his or her overall emotional, mental, and physical state — it has the potential to completely cure their insomnia, not just palliate it as a sleeping pill would do. Of course, the most controversial thing about homeopathy is not the Law of Similars, but the way in which homeopathic remedies are made. The process, called *potentization*, involves a sequence of steps in which a substance is repeatedly diluted and vigorously shaken. In fact, for most remedies, these dilutions are so extreme that they do not contain even a single molecule of the original substance! Nevertheless, homeopaths have found that the higher the dilution, the more potent a remedy can be. They believe this is possible because the *energetic signature* of a substance is captured by the potentization process. In other words, potentization enables the innate vibrational quality of a substance in nature to be unleashed and harnessed. It is this vibration that evokes the symptoms caused by a remedy, and it is also this vibratory signature that enables the remedy to cure a similar vibratory state in a patient. *Like vibrations cure like vibrations*. **Water: A Potent Carrier of Information** Although homeopathy has been the target of skeptics and critics since it was developed by physician Samuel Hahnemann in the early 1800s, open-minded scientists are finally beginning to get an inkling of how the remedies might be working. Recent studies have shown that the encoding of information in homeopathic dilutions is not about their chemical composition; it’s more about the bonding structures between the molecules within them. Apparently, the shaking process (also called *succussion*) performed during homeopathic potentization is the critical step that develops these structures. In 2007, a prominent researcher in the field of structured water, Professor Rustum Roy of Pennsylvania State University, showed for the first time that extreme homeopathic dilutions are not mere water, but highly structured arrangements of water molecules. In fact, various types of instruments in Roy’s laboratory were able to pick up the distinct signatures of different remedies, even at levels of dilution in which no remedy substance likely remained [12]. Homeopathic experience has shown that these unique signatures can then be transmitted to dry pills, and that the power and distinct effects of these pills remain stable indefinitely if they are stored properly. Interestingly, the potentization process can be used to capture the energetic signature of any substance, not just those used to make homeopathic remedies. This has been shown repeatedly by several independent scientists in replicated studies. For example, consider the work of Jacques Benveniste, a French physician and medical researcher in the field of immunology who helped discover platelet-activating factor in 1972. Unfortunately, Benveniste’s career was set upon a rocky course when a colleague encouraged him to study the phenomenon of potentization. His first paper about the subject described how antibodies of immunoglobulin E (anti-IgE) could be potentized beyond Avogadro’s number (the point at which it is unlikely to find a single molecule of a substance remaining in a dilution) and still cause substance-specific effects. When Benveniste published these results in the prestigious journal *Nature* in 1988 [13], he came under a barrage of attacks that lasted for the rest of his life. But perhaps this wasn’t surprising. Benveniste’s work had essentially shown that any drug could be potentized and still remain effective. That means that billions of doses of any drug could be produced for pennies — information that drug companies would spend a fortune to attack and suppress. And in fact, there is evidence that a world-wide campaign to discredit homeopathy has been funded by the pharmaceutical industry for this very reason [14, 15]. Despite the attacks on Benveniste and his subsequent loss of government funding in France, he continued his work and came up with even more astounding results. Because he suspected that the potentization process conveys an electromagnetic signal into the water of a dilution, he developed an apparatus that could digitally record it. He then transmitted this signal electronically — via E-mail — to a distant laboratory, and had it “replayed” into water there. Amazingly, the resulting water caused the same effects as the original substance. Benveniste eventually conducted several blinded experiments using this protocol. He published a paper in the *Journal of Clinical Immunology* in 1997 that described one such experiment, in which a specific antigen was potentized, recorded, E-mailed to Chicago, and replayed into water in a Chicago laboratory [16]. This water did indeed cause antigen-specific effects on isolated guinea pig hearts. I saw Benveniste present this paper at Stanford University Medical School in 1999. The large lecture hall was standing-room only, but the audience was politely incredulous. Of course, Benveniste’s new results in what he called “digital biology” were even more mind-boggling and threatening than his original paper in *Nature*. Not only could billions of doses of a substance be prepared cheaply using potentization, but its signature could be E-mailed and imprinted into water essentially for free … Despite the fact that other initially-skeptical scientists have successfully replicated his work [17, 18], acceptance of Benveniste’s work remains for the future. Perhaps, with the growth of a new consciousness in the scientific community, that future will arrive sooner rather than later. Indeed, in 2009, some new research conducted by Nobel prize winner Luc Montagnier confirmed the same kinds of effects that Benveniste described [19]. **The Meaning of Disease** The power of potentization is indeed one of the landmark discoveries of Homeopathy. It provides us with a method for capturing the energetic signature of any substance in nature. But perhaps even more significant is homeopathy’s therapeutic principle, the Law of Similars — because it says something specific about how fields of meaning operate and interact. There may even be a direct relationship between the Law of Similars and synchronicity. The late psychiatrist Edward Whitmont was a student of Carl Jung and eventually became a homeopath. In his book, *Psyche and Substance*, he speaks at length about the relationship between homeopathy and synchronicity [20]. Psychiatrists have long known that patients sometimes alternate between specific physical symptoms and specific mental or emotional symptoms. In fact, when mental symptoms are present, physical symptoms often vanish, and vice versa. This phenomenon is an illustration of the fundamentally psychosomatic nature of disease — that disease manifests in both the psyche (mind) and soma (body). Homeopathy and other holistic medical systems have long recognized that disease is a body-mind affair. That is why each patient manifests a unique pattern of mental, emotional, and physical symptoms — a pattern that is an outward representation of his or her vibratory state. As Whitmont points out, each homeopathic remedy is also associated with a vibration … The Law of Similars then states that bringing together the vibratory pattern of a patient and the similar vibratory pattern of a remedy can be curative. The reason this is true, Whitmont suggests, is synchronicity … Homeopathic remedies are curative because they share the same synchronistic field as a disease and therefore can replace it within a patient’s body. Hahnemann proposed essentially the same explanation in the early 1800s for the operation of his remedies upon what he called the *dynamis* or *vital force* — the energetic etheric field that encompasses the physical body. The fact that homeopathy has worked for millions of people for 200 years says a lot about the power of the Law of Similars. But it also says something about fields of meaning and their relationship to us in disease and in health. Just as the dream of the golden scarab said something meaningful about the psychological state of Jung’s patient, holistic practitioners recognize that each person’s unique manifestation of disease is not merely the result of genetic inheritance or the accidents of life — it is a reflection of a field of meaning vibrating at the core of their being. **Paranormal Medicine?** A couple of other phenomena witnessed in the homeopathic world are worth mentioning. Because they border on the paranormal, they are rarely openly discussed. Both tend to occur during *proving* — the homeopathic drug trials. The object of these trials is to see what pattern of symptoms a substance will create in healthy volunteers. Today’s provings are conducted using modern techniques like double-blinding and placebo controls. Thus, some test subjects (called *provers*) are given placebo while others are given the actual remedy. Since the trials are also blinded, neither the provers nor their supervisors, who collect symptom information, know who has been given a real remedy or a placebo, nor the identity of the substance being tested. Nevertheless, the following kinds of phenomena have been observed during many trials. First, it has been noticed that the moment a prover forms the intention to participate in a proving, they often begin to experience symptoms that are later found to be characteristic of the remedy — long before the trial actually begins. While this doesn’t happen to all provers, it happens frequently enough to be noteworthy. By simply *intending* to join a remedy trial, a prover may enter into the field of meaning of the remedy substance. Just as paranormal phenomena often defy the normal constraints of time and space, the fields of meaning created by homeopathic remedies may as well. The second remarkable thing about provings is that the symptoms developed by provers often directly reflect the nature of the substance from which a remedy is made. This is most obvious in the case of remedies made from animal substances … Consider, for example, the blind proving of *Androctonus* conducted in 1985. Even though the provers did not know that they were taking a remedy made from scorpion venom, they developed the following kinds of symptoms: overconfidence; contemptuousness and defiance; lack of feeling and cruelty; quarrelsomeness and deceitfulness; the delusion that they were about to be assaulted and a malicious desire to injure others; suspiciousness; a lack of impulse control; anxiety and fear that is ameliorated by walking around; aversion to company; and a feeling that one is alone or separated from the world [21]. Notice how evocative many of these symptoms are of scorpions — violent, cruel, and antisocial. Indeed, this remedy has been effective in treating patients with serious mental illness. In my book about homeopathy, *Impossible Cure*, I describe the case of one man who, thanks to Androctonus, experienced a cure of severe allergies and headaches, as well as a significant lessening of arthritis, high blood pressure, and diabetes. The man was an avid hunter, obsessed with guns and knives. He told his homeopath how he would wait until his prey came to him and how he could sense and communicate with them. Interestingly, scorpions also let their prey come to them, and they can accurately detect their victim’s location by sensing their vibrations. After taking Androctonus, this hunter was not only alleviated of his physical problems, but he also became much less interested in his extensive collection of weapons [22]. Think of it. The process of potentization may provide us with a method for accessing the very essence of the natural world. Just as Merlin the Magician showed the future King Arthur what it was like to be a fish or bird, a prover who takes a potentized remedy may learn what it’s like to be a scorpion, a dolphin, a flower, or even a mineral! Our entire universe may be intricately and intimately interconnected through vibration and meaning. For more information about the author and her books visit: [](; [](; [](   **REFERENCES ** [1] A. Lansky. *Active Consciousness: Awakening the Power Within*. Portola Valley, California: R.L.Ranch Press (2011), **. - - - - - - [2] E. Laszlo. *Science and the Akashic Field: An Integral Theory of Everything*. Rochester, Vermont: Inner Traditions, p. 47—53 (2004). - - - - - - [3] E. Laszlo. *Science and the Akashic Field: An Integral Theory of Everything*. Rochester, Vermont: Inner Traditions (2004). - - - - - - [4] R. Sheldrake. *The Presence of the Past: Morphic Resonance and the Habits of Nature*. Rochester, Vermont: Park Street Press, p. 168 (1988). - - - - - - [5] C. Jung. *The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious*. Princeton: Princeton University Press (1981). - - - - - - [6] R.D. Nelson, et al. “Field REG Anomalies in Group Situations.” *Journal of Scientific Exploration*, 10(1), pp. 111–141 (1996). - - - - - - [7] R.D. Nelson, et al. “Field REG II: Consciousness Field Effects: Replications and Explorations.” *Journal of Scientific Exploration*, 12(3), pp. 425–454 (1998). - - - - - - [8] R.D. Nelson, et al. “Correlations of Continuous Random Data with Major World Events.” *Foundations of Physics Letters*. 15(6), pp. 537–550 (2002). - - - - - - [9] D.I. Radin. “Exploring Relationships Between Random Physical Events and Mass Human Attention: Asking For Whom the Bell Tolls.” *Journal of Scientific Exploration*. 16(4), pp. 533–547 (2002). - - - - - - [10] C. Jung. *Jung on Synchronicity and the Paranormal: Key Readings*. London: Routledge (1977). - - - - - - [11] R. Rucker. *The Fourth Dimension: A Guided Tour of Higher Universes*. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, p. 186 (1984). - - - - - - [12] M.L. Rao, R. Roy, I.R. Bell, and R. Hoover, “The Defining Role of Structure (Including Epitaxy) in the Plausibility of Homeopathy.” *Homeopathy*, 96, pp. 175–182 (2007). - - - - - - [13] E. Davenas, et al. “Human Basophil Degranulation Triggered by Very Dilute Antiserum Against IgE.” *Nature*, Volume 333, Number 6176, pp. 816–181 (June 1988). - - - - - - [14] H. Stevenson. “Quackbusters are Busted!” (July 2010). See: See: []( ""). - - - - - - [15] A. Lansky. “Could This Forbidden Medicine Eliminate the Need for Drugs? Or, Why the Skeptics Love to Hate Homeopathy.” Mercola Newsletter (December 22, 2009). See:[…]( ""). - - - - - -   [16] J. Aissa, et al. “Transatlantic Transfer of Digitized Antigen Signal by Telephone Link.” *Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology*, 99: S175 (1997). - - - - - - [17] V. Brown and M. Ennis. “Flow-Cytometric Analysis of Basophil Activation: Inhibition by Histamine at Conventional and Homeopathic Concentrations.” *Inflammation Research*, 50, Supplement (2), S47–S48 (2001). - - - - - - [18] P. Belon, et al. “Histamine Dilutions Modulate Basophil Activation.” *Inflammation Research*, 53, pp. 181–188 (2004). - - - - - - [19] L. Montagnier, et al.,“Electromagnetic Signals Are Produced by Aqueous Nanostructures Derived from Bacterial DNA Sequences.” *Interdiscip Sci Comput Life Sci*, 1: 81–90 (2009). - - - - - - [20] E.C. Whitmont. *Psyche and Substance*. Berkeley, California: North Atlantic Books and Homeopathic Educational Services (1991). - - - - - - [21] R. Vermeulen. *Synoptic Materia Medica 2*. Haarlem, The Netherlands: Merlijn Publishers (1996). - - - - - - [22] Lansky, Amy L. *Impossible Cure: The Promise of Homeopathy*. Portola Valley, California: R.L.Ranch Press, pp. 127–129 (2003), [](  
- - - - - -   **ABOUT THE AUTHOR:** *Amy Lansky was a NASA researcher in artificial intelligence when her life was transformed by the miraculous homeopathic cure of her son’s autism. In 2003, she published **Impossible Cure: The Promise of Homeopathy,** now one of the best-selling introductory books on homeopathy worldwide (*[**](*). Since then, Lansky has broadened her investigations to include ancient and modern teachings about consciousness, psychic phenomena, synchronicity, meditation, and our collective power to evolve and transform our world. The result is her newest book, **Active Consciousness: Awakening the Power Within**, published in 2011 (*[**](*).* *  ![amy](*    

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5 Traits Every Empathic Person Possesses

Empaths are often recognized as individuals who possess highly sensitive skills and traits. These people are capable of absorbing the energies, emotions and feelings of other people around them, which is often why they are viewed as being so sensitive. In fact, empaths are so sensitive that if they do not learn how to protect themselves, they can easily end up suffering from depression and exhaustion, which in turn leads to unhealthy habits such as binging on drugs or food.

While there is nothing “special” about being an empath, it definitely makes life easier knowing whether or not you are an empath.

Here are five traits that describe most empaths. How many can you relate to?

Empaths tend to be introverted

Because empaths are so sensitive to the multitudes of stimuli that surround them every day, they tend to be introverted rather than extroverted. Crowds and large groups of people can easily overwhelm and exhaust an empath, so they prefer to socialize in small gatherings or alone with one or two others.

Empaths need time alone to rejuvenate and recharge

Part of being so sensitive to the myriad of energies floating around in the world is that it takes its toll on an empath much quicker than it would on a normal person. Empaths seek out solitude quite often in order to recharge their energy levels and prevent any situations where their emotions might get the best of them.

They rely heavily on their intuition

While everyone has a sense of intuition, empaths tend to rely on theirs with much more conviction. It’s one of their sharpest skills and they choose to listen to it more often than not. If their gut is saying “no,” the brain follows suit, trusting that intuition will not steer them in the wrong direction. This helps them avoid toxic people and toxic situations.

Empaths like to give too much sometimes

When a person or creature is going through hardship, empaths have the strange ability to literally feel exactly what the other person is feeling. This is why they tend to give much more than they receive. Empaths want to help soothe and protect creatures that are suffering, meaning they’re more likely to help homeless folks, or help a friend with a broken heart, or help a lost child find its parents.

Empaths thrive when they are in a natural environment

The hustle and bustle of urban environments can leave an empath feeling drained and exhausted. On the other hand, being in nature provides energy, clarity, and nourishment. Being outside in the presence of the natural world revitalizes their senses and makes it easier for them to release negative energies.

h/t Psychology Today

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10 Years Is All the Time We Have to Save Earth, Scientists Say

Climate change has been at the forefront of politics in countries all over the world as we continue to see the devastating effects it is having on planet Earth, and now scientists claim we have just 10 years to save the planet before disaster strikes.

Fortunately, they’ve also developed a model they hope will be used to balance the increasing carbon dioxide emissions with carbon sinks (such as forests) in order to keep temperatures from rising over 1.5 degrees Celsius, something that many believe will have catastrophic consequences for life on our planet.

Even though President Donald Trump has showed disdain for climate change efforts and has even sought to increase dirty energy production in the United States, scientists believe that the next decade will be a crucial period of time for those who have pledged to the Paris agreement.

Detailed online in Nature Communications, their study focuses on two major ways that world powers can help reverse the effects of climate change: by reducing emissions and restoring carbon sinks.

World Bank consultant Brian Walsh led the study, which concludes that fossil fuel use must be reduced to less than 25 percent of the global energy supply by the year 2100. For perspective, it is currently sitting at 95 percent. Secondly, deforestation needs to be halted or slowed down so as to achieve a 42 percent decrease in emissions by the year 2100.

The study looks at a large number of factors, including emissions from fossil fuels, agriculture, food production, bioenergy, and land use, as well as where carbon emissions originate from, where they go, and how our natural ecosystems work to absorb them.

“Earlier work on mitigation strategies by IIASA has shown the importance of demand-side measures, including efficiency, conservation, and behavioral change. Success in these areas may explain the difference between reaching 1.5 degrees Celsius instead of 2 degrees Celsius,” said Keywan Riahi, Energy Program Director for the International Institute for Applied Systems Analysis (IIASA) and co-author of the study.

Renewable energies are also featured in the study, with one favorable scenario seeing a five percent increase in wind, solar, and bioenergy each year until emissions peak in 2022. This scenario, even though it features renewable energy, would still lead to a 2.5 degrees Celsius temperature increase should the world not also incorporate “negative emissions” technologies.

What do you think about these warnings from researchers and scientists? Do you think the world will be thrust into chaos in 10 years?

h/t Inhabitat

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3 Big Reasons Why Narcissists Can Cause Lasting Damage

When a person takes on a narcissist as their romantic partner things can get ugly, fast. Eventually, you start to realize just how toxic the relationship truly is and begin to realize that your relationship isn’t really a relationship anymore--it’s a war. A war between saving yourself and letting this person destroy your very identity.

Recovering from this type of relationship isn’t the same as recovering from a normal one. Typically when you break up with someone you go through a period of grief where your brain forces you to think only about all of the bad stuff in the relationship. This helps you to heal and understand why it was not meant to be so that you can move on. Eventually, this leads to being able to remember the happy times. You can accept that there was some good in the relationship, and you’re happy to have had those moments, but things are different now and it’s okay.

After being with a narcissist, this process never kicks in like it should. Because there ultimately were no good moments, and you’re not actually recovering from a relationship turned sour or stale, but rather from a battle that you’ve been waging.

Here are three big reasons why relationships with narcissists can leave you feeling like you’ll never recover.

It’s easy to feel foolish and short-sighted

After it becomes obvious that the person you thought loved you is actually a sociopathic narcissist who was only interested in controlling every detail of your life, it can be difficult to not be hard on yourself for letting such a toxic person take hold of you. After all, it was your fault that you didn’t recognize this person as terrible in the first place, right?

It’s incredibly hard to recover when you feel as though your intuition and judgment are flawed.

Looking back, you start to realize that things weren’t as good as you thought they were

Oftentimes it is only when we are out of a relationship that we start to recognize just how toxic it actually was. With a narcissist, it’s the realization that the entire relationship was centered around just one person’s needs, desires and emotions. This is when you start to notice all of the little red flags that you missed the first time around.

This is hard to recover from because, again, you begin to question your own judgment and ability to correctly perceive reality--especially if your partner liked to gaslight you. It’s hard to heal when thinking about every little thing you did that played into their manipulative hands.

You suffer from feeling powerless

Because the narcissist’s whole goal of the relationship is to assert dominance and control, they often choose people they feel they can demean and belittle. After having your spirit broken, it becomes incredibly hard to function normally in other areas of life. How could you, after being forced to live in a constant state of defense and protection? Being proactive with a positive mindset is difficult after living in such a way. So, you might be doing life stuff, like paying bills and going to work, but you’re not actually healing.

h/t Psychology

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5 Ways to Tell If You're In Love or Just Attached to Someone

Have you ever met someone who seemed to be in a different relationship every other week? Or maybe it wasn’t so much that they had a new partner often, but that they never really took the time to be single? As someone who used to be this way in the past, I can tell you that it’s difficult to distinguish between actually being in love and having an unhealthy habit of simply getting attached to someone.

People get into relationships for a multitude of different reasons and sometimes these reasons are shallow and fleeting. So, if you’re just starting out in a relationship or are thinking about pursuing one, it’s always good to know the differences between someone you’re truly falling for and someone you’re with for other reasons.

Here are five differences between love and attachment.

Selfless vs. self-absorbed

When you truly love someone else, you start to put their best interests before your own. Your actions, behaviors and words all start to reflect the affection, passion and devotion you have for him or her.

When you’re attached to someone, the other person’s presence is necessary simply to fulfill your needs and desires. You’re not worried so much about their well-being, only your own.

Love is timeless, attachment has an expiration

True love never wonders about time and whether or not things will come to an end. It may cross your mind as a simple curiosity, but your love for the other person never allows this curiosity become a reality. When you’ve come to love someone, that love is almost always something that lasts forever.

Attachment has an expiration date from the start. It’s not a real connection, but rather a dependency for one person or both. Trying to grow through attachment is a disaster waiting to happen.

Passion vs. apathy

A relationship full of love is one that is full of passion and chemistry. You can’t really describe the feeling that’s inside of you, because that feeling is so intense and powerful that it’s hard to put into words. Yet, it’s always there, driving you, motivating you to be the best partner you can be.

Attachment is chock-full of apathy. You don’t really ever feel too strongly towards your partner, and you might have moments where emotions run high and things feel good, but it will never compare to the fiery dynamics of love.

Me vs. Us

Being truly in love with your partner means that the two of you have started planning your lives together. You have a new perspective on the world, one that is concerned with the best path for both of you. You are both respectful to each other’s life goals and wishes, and listen to and support one another concerning ambitions and dreams. You compromise to find the best plan of action for the couple.

Attachment is more of a power dynamic. One person has one plan in mind and the other person has another plan in mind, and each person is fighting to control the direction of the relationship. The paths are not converging, they’re separating.

Freedom vs. possession

True love means not needing to be attached to your partner at the hip at all times. True love creates freedom because worry and concern about who they’re with or what they’re doing when you’re not around is replaced with trust, loyalty and a strong bond. You both trust one another to do right by the other, even when they’re not around.

When you’re attached to someone, you’re never 100 percent okay without them around. You hate being apart from one another, not because of love, but because you’re worried about what they might do. If the only time you feel at ease or fully okay is when you’re with your partner, it’s an unhealthy attachment.

h/t Unified Soul Theory

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