How many of you out there have had friends or loved ones who dated someone who was abusive to them? You recognized that it wasn’t a healthy relationship and kept telling them they deserved better, but for whatever reason they kept going back to them.

Maybe you yourself have experienced firsthand what it’s like to be in a verbally abusive relationship. You might have even recognized that your partner was abusing you, yet you chose to stay with them.

But, why? Why does this seem like it’s part of human nature?

Because to some degree, it is. And, as with so many conditions, problems, and disorders that crop up later on in life, it starts in our earliest years when we’re children.

When we’re neglected or mistreated as children, we often develop issues with attachment that stem from insecurities. When we have this insecure attachment to another person, the more we are likely to tolerate different forms of abuse.

Unfortunately, it’s not just our experiences as children that allow this to happen. People from all walks of life--from the poor to the affluent, from the educated to the uneducated, from the employed to the unemployed--can choose to ignore the red flags of an abusive relationship, even when they know it’s happening.

So, we have to try to find some universal cause that is the culprit, and it comes in how each of us form a theory of mind. A theory of mind is basically our expectations, assumptions and beliefs as to how another person should act or behave. And each of us develops a theory of mind based on our experiences over the years, from childhood until now.

When we look at people who have secure attachments, we see that they typically exhibit sound and logical theories of mind. These are the people who weren’t exposed to neglect or maltreatment as children, yet continue to stay in abusive relationships. Why does this happen?

Because our theories are based on people acting logically and rationally. When someone starts to act illogically or irrationally, our whole theory gets disrupted and tossed out the window. Suddenly, we don’t know what to think or how to act.

One example of this is when a partner exudes charisma and charm when out in public, but instantly turns into someone mean, degrading and abusive once they’re in the privacy of their own home. They have very short fuses and come unglued over the smallest of things and they often blame their partner for everything--even their own terrible behavior.

If you have a sound theory of mind, this illogical behavior is going to cause you to make inaccurate assumptions about the person over and over again, which is why we see so many people returning to a partner who is so abusive. You keep expecting them to behave in a way that aligns with your theory of mind. You keep expecting them to change.

Sadly, the only certain thing about abusive types of people is that their behavior will be anything but normal and expected. They’re angry when they shouldn’t be, they place blame in all the wrong places (and never on themselves), and criticize others even when it’s completely unnecessary. They’re basically entirely backwards.

The best thing that we can remember when we come across someone who is verbally and emotionally abusive is that they’re not like normal, everyday people. So our expectations and assumptions about them--our theories of mind--do not apply to them.

Whenever you start seeing someone new, whether it’s romantic or platonic, pay attention to early signs of abuse. It’s one of the only ways to protect yourself.

h/t Psychology Today

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This Unique Spanish Home Was Built Under a Rolling Hill and Is Completely Eco-Friendly

You wouldn’t know there was a home resting inside of this rolling hillside were it not for the roof sloping downward over a parked car and bicycles. Known as the Live Garden House, this vaulted home was built into a hillside and features traditional construction techniques practiced in Zaragoza, Spain.

Spanish designers sought to create a fully sustainable home that used locally-sourced materials for its construction. They achieve their vision with this zero-energy structure that lets in natural sunlight, has a natural ventilation system and features a rainwater collection system.

All of its sustainable features are made even better by placing them underneath an undulating green roof (which has plants and vegetation growing on top of it). Not only does the home look beautiful inside, it fits in perfectly with the surrounding landscape.

And the inside is just as welcoming and serene as the outside. Take a look for yourself!

h/t Inhabitat

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The REAL Reason Barns Are Usually Red

Almost every barn I’ve ever seen has been red, and I never knew why. I mean, I love red as a color, but it never really made any sense why every single barn I’ve ever come across had to be red. There are so many other colors to choose from!

The real reason barns are painted red actually has nothing to do with color preference, and everything to do with practicality.

When the very first New England settlers were building farms, many of them lacked the necessary funds to paint their buildings. However, they still needed a way to protect their barns’ wood from the elements, so they came up with their own solution to the problem: by mixing skim milk, lime, and red iron oxide, they successfully created a plastic-like substance that they could coat their farm buildings with to protect them.

Eventually, paint manufacturers would mix in chemical pigment and red was the favorite due to how cheap it was. And, as with many things in this world, people never sought to change it. So, red was how it began and red is how it has stayed.

h/t Business Insider

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Professor Who Predicted Donald Trump Becoming President Has a New Prediction: Impeachment

Image via: Max Goldberg from USA - Trump CAUCUS

Allan Lichtman, a professor at American University, has gained quite a bit of notoriety over the years as he’s successfully predicted the outcome of every presidential election to date, starting in 1984. He correctly predicted the Donald Trump would win the 2016 election and is now making another prediction: Donald Trump will be impeached.

"Now, he focuses on the 45th President of the United States and his next forecast, that it is not a question of if President Trump will be impeached, but a question of when," said Shelby Meizlik, spokesperson for HarperCollins.

In fact, Lichtman has written a book stating his argument for why Trump should be impeached. The Case for Impeachment is being published by Dey Street Books and will release to the public on April 18th.

Lichtman made the prediction that Trump would be impeached alongside his prediction that he would be elected and his book will go into detail as to why.

Lichtman told the Washington Post this past September:

"I'm going to make another prediction. This one is not based on a system; it's just my gut. They don't want Trump as president, because they can't control him. He's unpredictable. They'd love to have Pence — an absolutely down-the-line, conservative, controllable Republican. And I'm quite certain Trump will give someone grounds for impeachment, either by doing something that endangers national security or because it helps his pocketbook."

It certainly seems as though there is a strong case for impeachment, especially when considering Trump's Russian connections and the multitude of conflicts of interests surrounding his businesses, as Lichtman argues.

Do you think Lichtman’s fortune-telling capabilities will ring true once again?

h/t Time

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6 Bizarrely Beautiful Houseplants You've Probably Never Heard Of

Houseplants are a great addition to any home as not only do they bring a clean, fresh aesthetic to the space, they also help improve air quality. If you’ve ever wanted to bring plants into your home, but think that they’re kind of boring or not worth the effort, try out one of these bizarre houseplants that are anything but boring.

Mix it up a little with these six houseplants that are beautiful, but also a little strange.

Euphorbia Caput-Medusae
Succulents a great option for everyone who’s looking for a low-maintenance plant. They only need watering about once a week and even just once a month during the winter months. The type of succulent shown here is referred to as “Medusa’s Head,” a moniker taken on because of its likeness to the Greek monster with snakes for hair. It is native to South Africa.

The Trachyandra also looks as if it’s some type of snake plant, or maybe silly-string growing out of the ground. This plant is real and you can find it in Eastern and Southern Africa.

If you’ve ever wanted a plant that looks somewhat like it has antlers, grab a Platycerium. This plant, which is often called the “Staghorn Fern”, can even grow on the side of things, such as trees or walls.

Gentiana Urnula
These beautifully-patterned succulents are known as “Starfish Succulents” and are at home in the rocks. These are also a perfect option for those seeking low-maintenance plants.

Sedum Morganianum
These crazy looking plant is often called “Donkey Tail” and its stems regularly grow up to two feet in length. Its leaves are normally a bluish-green and it is native to Mexico and Honduras.

Haworthia Cooperi
This plant looks like some type of glass flower or maybe even some type of gelatin, but these clumps you see here are actually green leaves that simply look as though they’re something else.

h/t Woman's Day

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