How many times have you put yourself later, and others first, because of your greatness and goodness that is in you? Always & that's not a good thing!
The world can be a cunning and menacing place sometimes, and people tend to lack sympathy. But this is not to say that there aren't selfless and empathetic people dwelling in this world who do want peace and harmony for the world. The warm people are the ones who struggle a lot with their goodness in this world. Your goodness is important to live in harmony with the people around you. However, being selfish is also important in order to live peacefully with your own self.
Even though being selfish is looked down upon most of the time, but when it comes to protecting yourself mentally, emotionally and physically, one needs to be selfish and keep themselves first. How many times have you put yourself later, and others first, because of your empathetic nature? Many times! And, how often you’ve been hurt by the people who took your kindness for granted and exploited your emotions? Perhaps, your goodness is not helping you in ways you thought and it's time you become selfish to help yourself!
The relation you share with yourself should always hold the utmost importance. It is an unapologetic equation that you owe to your existence. Often you compromise and sacrifice for people around you because you are born this way. However, in the journey of life, just the way you learn to accept others the way you are, the way you learn to let go things that aren’t adding to your productivity- in the same way, you too can learn to love yourself so that you put yourself first in situations where it’s not wrong.
For instance, you and your friends are out somewhere, a place where you aren’t comfortable. Since you are a selfless person, you would keep your friend's comfortability at first, forgetting about yourself. It’s unfair to not think about yourself here, as a lot of things matter – your health, your well-being, your mental state. Instead, you should be able to speak for yourself and warmly tell your friend what is making you uncomfortable. If they are your true friends, they would understand. If not, then you know the answer.
Your body has always been there with you, standing and listening to everything you want from it, every day, every minute. It is your body that serves you constantly. Whenever you’re happy, sad, hurt, angry, stressed and shoved with all other emotions- it is not just you who live through all those emotions, but your body too. Therefore, to all those times when you have been hurt by people who have kept you in the last of their priority list, for those times when you kept your self last in your own priority list and let your heartburn and rage affect you both physically and mentally.
The day you choose yourself over everything and everyone else, you take care of your body by keeping yourself away from those redundant stresses, anger, hurt and pain which have the potential to damage your body. You grow close to your own self by keeping yourself away from things that bother and affects you negatively. Hence, your body remains healthier than it would have if others happiness was the only thing important thing for you.
The moment you choose to control the wheel of your life, by valuing yourself you gain confidence. You need no one to think about you or your happiness, and you restrain yourself from putting your happiness in someone else’s hand. Whatever you do in life, you’ll seek no validations from others. Rather, you’ll seek your own decisions and answers as the right one.
For example, you will find yourself beautiful every time you wear something you were always afraid of wearing. If you are selfish, you tend to keep your wishes and desires of the utmost importance. A confident person has a spark that is rare to find in this world, where people are busy impressing others to seek their validations.
All this while, you’ve been thinking about others- your decisions depended on what others wanted. In every course of life, most steps you took was keeping other’s interest and wishes into consideration, rather than keeping yours. Belittling someone who’s selfish just because they know what they are doing and what they want, is not justified.
Being selfish means that you are able to decide for yourself what is right and wrong for you, even if it means keeping aside the choices and desires of your loved ones. Eventually, you learn to take and make decisions without being under the influence of others, only for the benefit of yourself. You need to understand the fact that it’s not wrong to do so, but you should be able to differentiate between being empathetic and self-love.
How can being selfish inspire others positively? It can. The way you value yourself and portray your strengths to protect your emotions in front of the world has the power to influence others who are lurking behind in this world. The cruelness and mean heart that you see in others is because they lack empathy and they can go to any extent to benefit their desire. However, being selfish for good teaches you how to help yourself and at the same time teach others self-value and how to not let anyone else exploit them.
There is always two sides of the coin, and to be a selfish person you must be able to learn how to embrace yourself and at the same time have a fair vision to make a call who needs your attention the most. For example, if you’ve had a bad and tiresome day, and you come across an accident. Keeping yourself aside and helping the one who needs your help here, would be the right thing to do. However, if you’ve had a stressful day and your friends want to take you out for drinking in spite of you not wanting to, then if you choose to not go and let your friends thing bad of you, wouldn’t make you a selfish. There’s NOT a fine line here, is there?