It is undoubtedly an amazing thing to be a kind person, but some of the kindest people do not know when to stop being nice, and eventually, their own goodness take a toll on them.
Who doesn't want to be nice and kind? With so much of negativity around our lives, a bit of kindness and goodness doesn't hurt, does it? But, there are some people who are just way too nice for this world, making their own lives a bitter place to live in. They are the ones who are nice with others even when they do not want to because they feel the importance of being nice is much more than anything else in this world.
It is undoubtedly an amazing thing to be a kind person, but some of the kindest people do not know when to stop being nice, and eventually, their own goodness take a toll on them. It takes a lot of energy to do things which we do not want to do. It affects our health and it affects our mind equally. Going to the ice cream shop just because it makes our friends happy, or volunteering things that nobody else want to take up, and walking those extra miles every time to make someone else happy around you, even if it is not helping you in any way -are the things that affect your soul's core deeply. This is what happens to those who do things even when they don't want to, just because they are too nice.
Being a part of such plans where we don't fit in can be too much to take in. One of the hardest things about being a good person is not being able to say 'NO'. For example, there are times when our friends plan on going out on Friday night. The same place where they always go to, and the same way they always end up- drunk and wasted. It might be a fun thing for them, but for us, it might be too much to deal with as we have a different definition for the word 'fun'. However, we end up going anyway because we don't really know how to say 'NO' to an invite.
It is hard to imagine the exhaustion one goes through when they have been put into scenarios where they don't want to be put in. It's frustrating to know that our opinions or our choices do not matter to people whom we hang out with most of the time. We often tell ourselves that saying 'NO' would disappoint others, and therefore, say 'YES' to everything that we are thrown at, unhappily.
It is stressful to see people taking advantage of us because we are too nice to raise our voice against it. It is important to remember the difference between being too nice and being forced. For example, we all have that friend in our life who constantly hurt us and demean us because they feel like they are entitled to our friendship. The saddest part of the reality is the fact that we let them do so at every point because we do not want to hurt them. However, the kind of stress we go through is inexplicable because such friends create negative feelings in us.
Those negative feelings are so strong that it only gets worse for us, and not them. We tell ourselves to behave and ignore all those mean words because we are trapped in a self-made web of extreme kindness and goodness. It affects us mentally, leading to different problems like anxiety, depression, self-loathing and many more.
No matter how good a person is, they always know they are being targetted, or they are being exploited, or they are being taken for granted. The fact that they feel the pain, in spite of acting all happy for others, they are making their own lives miserable. Being constantly devalued by others, even after us being kind and nice to them is drains us off emotionally, leading to frequent break downs. We soon end up finding ourselves crying to sleep at night alone, and cursing ourselves and asking 'why me' throughout. The fact that we cannot show these emotions to others, make it harder for us to be around people, and therefore, we eventually seclude ourselves. It is unfair on our part, to put ourselves through so much, in spite of knowing that being too good means nothing but hurting ourselves.
Self-worth and self-love always go into toss when we let others define us. People who are always taking advantage of our kindness beat our confidence, and push us into the well of self-doubts, self-hatred, and pity. We have been told that being nice to others should be our way of leading a peaceful life. Unfortunately, it is no longer for those who genuinely are too good for this world. For example, when our friend constantly makes us feel bad for not looking good at a party, we tend to let it go even if their words might have felt excruciating. Since we do not like to divulge what we genuinely felt, we end up scarring our confidence and self-love to the extreme level. Soon we start finding flaws and start hating ourselves for all the wrong reasons.
Being too nice puts us in a position where we stop respecting ourselves because no one else respects us. The way it works is vicious and we do not realize it until we see ourselves criticizing and making a fool out of ourselves in front of everyone. We start telling ourselves that we are responsible for speaking the truth and hurting others. We start feeling guilty during all those times we dared to speak for ourselves, just because we never wanted to hurt anyone else. It doesn't take a long time for such feelings to get piled up in our hearts, taking away the respect and affection we had for ourselves. Being too kind even when we do not want to is a big loss for no one else but ourselves, and it badly breaks the relationship we share with our own core heart. No one would want to be in an unhealthy relationship with oneself, by risking their happiness and mental peace for others who do not appreciate it.