Even happy and cordial relationships have ugly sides, that couples go through together, and sometimes alone, but never talk about it.
Just like every story has two sides, relationships too, have two standpoints that are inevitable—positive and negative. Aspects that are negative, sad, unhappy and ugly are often not talked about, because who would want to tell the world how unhappy their day was with their partner? Or why would anyone want to update about an ugly fight they had with their partner, on social media? This world is indeed a bizarre place to live in, where people like to boast about good and happy things, and want to hide about things that are sad and unhappy, even though all are basic human emotions.
However, every relationship, no matter how good that is, also has an ugly side to it. Why else do you think happy couples call it off if they never fought? The reason why happy relationships most of the time end up in an ugly manner is that a semantic affinity between two people constitutes vulnerabilities, harsh and bitter confrontations, weaknesses, bitterness and all those facets which normally people avoid to indulge in. Even happy and cordial relationships have ugly sides, that couples go through together, and sometimes alone, but never talk about it.
When you have worked hard for your exam, and have given your time, patience, sleep, and everything so that you top the subject, you EXPECT good result, don't you? You expect to get paid for what you have worked so much— in the same manner, you do expect things from your partner, and from the relationship, for which you have given your sweat, blood and time for. The same goes for your partner, no matter how much you both invest in the relationship, there is always an expectation attached to it.
But, relationships are made of two different individuals who have their own set of experiences, life lessons, and mentality, therefore, leading to different expectations that affect the relationship if not taken care of. Your partner might have expectations from you which you find it hard to fulfill and same goes for you too. Even reading about it might be sounding complicated to most of you, imagine how complicated and hard it would be to be in a relationship where partners have their own set of expectations. It is up to partners, what they choose —do they choose to work it out, or play the blame and guilt game till their relationship falls apart?
You cannot have butterflies for the same person for the entire life if you choose to spend the rest of your life with them. After some time, every relationship is based on commitment, understanding, responsibilities, perseverance, and courage. There aren't any butterflies left, as butterflies fly away, always. You might find yourself and your partner, losing interest in each other after having stayed together for a long time. It is one of those feelings, that is hurting but at the same time is exhausting. Soon you and your partner have nothing to talk about and eventually you both end up getting bored in each other's company.
Even though it is a normal scenario that every couple who have been in a long time relationship go through, it does not necessarily mean that there is nothing left to learn in the relationship. After having spent the time talking and learning about new things about each other, it is up to you and your partner, what else do you want. Finding peace in silence while living together is another beautiful part of a relationship which most couples mistake it to boredom. It is one of the tranquilizing experience to be able to share the room with someone with whom you can stay without talking, but yet, comfortable. The matter of truth is that after some point of time in life, you and your partner will run out oconversationsns, and will have nothing else to talk about, it is up to you how you both would want to take it further when boredom strucks.
When you are in love and have been with your partner for a long time, you are like an open book to them. Things you might don't know about yourself could be very well visible to your partner, things you don't want to know about yourself, might be well-understood by your partner. Your partner is someone who constantly brings you closer to reality and makes you confront those things which you have been running away from. They are that intimidating part of the relationship which no one wants to go through.
However, when things go wrong in your life, or when you are the one responsible for your own problems and miseries, it is only your partner who shows the mirror to you and has the courage to tell you that you are your own creator of the problems. Since down within you are aware that your partner is right about you, you tend to fight, rebuke and argue because who wants to be told that they are weak when they have spent most of their life pretending to be the strongest?
A relationship does not have to transform into marriage to consider it as a big responsibility. The day you choose to go into a relationship with your partner, that very day you have taken up a responsibility which you need to handle carefully. Most of the time, couples end up enjoying the blooming stage of a relationship, just because they believe that there is nothing to take care of, as they look at 'marriage' as their only final destination. This kind of mentality stops most couples from even reaching that point where they want to marry each other because they never learn the art of being in a relationship.
However, nothing changes the truth that a relationship indeed is a relationship at its very first day of the entire journey. Since most people fear responsibilities, they end up either breaking up their relationship or cheating around—as it is the only way they console themselves that their relationship is causal and nothing serious. Things start to turn ugly, thereafter.
When you have been in a long term relationship, you and your partner go through a lot of insecurities, and doubts, which gets added upon by the passing of the time. It is hard to not take people for granted, especially when you have already found and got what you have been looking for a long time. Once you get the person you have always wanted, you tend to take them for granted because you know they will not go anywhere else. It is only then when you stop caring about your partner wishes, hopes, and desires. Things turn really ugly when you and your partner learn that they are being taken for granted by one another.
That person who had always been on the top of your priority list, with time, falls down and becomes the last person you think about. It is a devastating feeling and hence the relationship starts becoming futile, with both partners wishing to give up on each other. No matter how long you have been in a relationship with your partner, taking them for granted is the meanest thing you can do to them. You should know the fact that things that have been given to you, can also be taken away from you, therefore, to regret and repent afterward would mean nothing if you don't embrace their presence now.