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Why Do We Push Away The People We Love The Most? The Answer Is Simpler Than You Thought

Why Do We Push Away The People We Love The Most? The Answer Is Simpler Than You Thought

You find yourself diving into the ocean of self-doubts and low self-esteem every time someone tells you how good you are or anything positive about you.

You build connections with your partner based on the intimacy, friendship and understanding that helped you to create something beautiful. But, every day you fight your own demons, who stop you from doing things that make you feel good or make you feel happy. Those demons are there in your life as insecurities, fear, and self-doubts, that force you to push away some of the precious aspects, that includes people you love the most too. 

 

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You tend to look at those people you love the most as a threat, and like that annoying alarm in the morning, they remind you of your weakness, your vulnerable side, your darkest side. Therefore, to avoid going through any of those, you tend to run away from the people who love you the most. But, for how long do you think you can run away from the people who love you back? Subconsciously, you might not realize when you are pushing people away, but if you have these issues then you might want to think twice. 

1. Do You Have Low Self-Esteem?

“Sometimes we are so generous with our love, so willing to give it all away, we leave nothing behind for ourselves.” ― Michael Faudet

Have you ever imagined how would you love anyone else if you don't know how to love yourself? It might sound like a cliche saying, but you might be running away from your loved ones, or might be pushing them away because their love reminds you about the shallowness that dwells inside your heart. A tinge of disappointment persists in your heart that constantly reminds you, that you don't know how to love yourself or to take care of yourself.

 

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You find yourself diving into the ocean of self-doubts and low self-esteem every time someone tells you how good you are or anything positive about you. You either tell yourself that you are not good for them, or they are too good for you. You believe that you don't deserve anything good in life, including the people whom you love, therefore, you prefer staying away from them. No matter how much you are drowning in your own pool of self-doubts, you should know that everyone in this world is worthy of love. Help yourself in knowing your own value, if you do not want to hurt the people you love. 

2. Does The Word 'Responsibility' Scare You?

“Your life begins to change the day you take responsibility for it.” ― Steve Maraboli

When you love someone, be it your parents, friends or love partners, you carry a responsibility that comes along with it. These responsibilities scare you and force you to undermine the affection and care you could have invested in it. But, how can you ever love, if you are too afraid to commit and take the responsibility of keeping them happy? You learn nothing when you run away from the responsibilities just because you are too afraid to know the consequences. 

 

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Nothing in this world comes for free, and nothing in this world comes without any consequences. You might have gotten hurt a lot of time because of which, the fear of getting hurt again stop you from taking the responsibility of those whom you love the most. But, would you really like to live in a cocoon for the entire life just because you don't want to get hurt, and are too afraid to be called out responsible for someone else's happiness? That's the worst way of living life, don't you think? Taking chances in life, and wearing your heart on sleeves is the best way to lead a life that has many beautiful people living in it. 

3. Do You Think You Don't Know Yourself? 

It is okay to feel lost, and it is okay if you don't know what you want. However, letting your lostness take you away from the people you love is unfair. When you are directionless in life, you tend to create a barrier that holds you back from connecting with people. It is hard for you to imagine a good relationship in your world because you are too lost to know what kind of relationship is the right kind for you. You confine yourself within the negative ideas and notions about love, commitments and soon find yourself pushing people away. 

 

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What you think most of the time has a lot of impact on your personal life. Therefore, if you constantly tell yourself that you don't know where your life is heading and are not aware of your own likings and dislikings, then it is easy to run away and push people away. Therefore, it is important to first establish a clear image about what you want from and in a relationship, before you push people away. 

4. Have You Only Seen Bad Relationships While Growing Up?

Our childhood plays a major role in molding us the person we become later in life. A child's mind is fragile and like an empty jar. As a child, you tend to fill the jar with the memories and experiences you have had, and then shut the jar air-tight, making it hard to open. You push people away because you might have seen your parents, or your closest ones unhappy being together. Those sights and memories are deeply rooted in your mind and heart. Therefore, you tell your heart and mind that all relationships are the same.  Hard, dramatic and bad. Therefore, to avoid yourself going through such drama and hurt, you prefer staying away from those who might have instigated love in you. 

 

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But, don't you want to change the notion and perception you have about relationships and try opening the tight jar? Your life is your own battle and race. What you choose to do with the jar is your decision, and how you choose to change the perception, is your responsibility. Running away from people who love you is the harshest thing to do, as you get just one life to live and one life to love. 

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